so i told chris i loved him. buuut since then i decided to not say it more because i don’t want him to feel pressure to say it back. i know it will take awhile for him to feel the same way or say it back, and i don’t want to rush him into saying it and regretting it.
however now i’ve said it i really just want to tell him over and over again. all the little things and why i do… but since i don’t want to pressure i don’t say anything… sooo here’s my little rant for those of you that want to read
i love the way he says my name and calls me love and sweetheart. i love the way we fit when we fall asleep. i love his laughs, every single different one. i love all of his ridiculous stories and i want to hear them over and over until i memorize them. i love the way he holds my hand. i love the way he kisses my cheek. i love the way he stares at me in the mirror. i love the way he makes me absolutely love every part of myself and at the same time want to be so so so much more. i love how he is such a nerd. i love that he is so incredibly intelligent. i love that he snores when he sleeps. (yes really… the constant sounds help me sleep better actually) i love that he denies it. i love that he is unendingly kind and one of the funniest people i’ve ever met. i love that when i talk to him on the phone or when i’m with him in person, time absolutely stops. we can spend hours talking about absolutely nothing and it feels like it’s been only minutes. i love that he can read me. i love that i can’t lie to him. i love that no matter what is going on, being with him makes me worry less and be happier and just love life. i love that we match. i love that he keeps introducing me to so much. i love that he challenges me. i love that he is equally lazy and homebody-esque. i love that he notices every small thing i do for him and appreciates it. i love the way he continuously surprises me. i love the way he takes care of me without being condescending. i love that he gives me time and space when i need it, but that when i need him he is always there. i love that his life is kind of fucked up too. i love the way my stomach jumps every time i see him or hear his voice. i love that i dont want to hide a single thing from him and that i want to know everything about him. i love the way he speaks spanish. i love the way he talks to his mother on the phone. i love that i can banter with him and he knows i’m never actually mad at him. i love everything about the way he makes me feel and the person i am around him. i love that he understands me and accepts me in ways i never ever hoped for.
and i know some of my friends are worried about me because i don’t have the best track record of picking guys. but i really really am completely content with things. if he ended things tomorrow, i would be upset and sad and everything. but i would know how utterly amazing and special our time together has been and i would remember the way he made me feel and make sure i never settle for a guy who makes me feel anything less.
